It Is I, Captain Vegetable

Ever since my first steroid injection in my back, I have been fighting constant yeast infections. While feminine itching sucks, thrush is even worse. It makes everything taste bitter and metallic, and I wake up with a thick white gooey coating all over my mouth and especially my tongue. It also feels like I ate an entire bag of WarHeads. Thrush is awful.

The last eight months have been particularly bad, and it’s finally gotten to the point where my misery of being constantly yeasty outweighs the misery of changing my diet. After comparing about a dozen different “Candida Diet” books and websites, I’m attempting a no carb diet for the next two months. The problem with a Candida Diet is that since doctors don’t believe in such a thing, no one has studied it so it’s really just a bunch of opinions. It’s also mixed up with anti-vaxxers, hippy dippy non-GMO protesters, and super insane “everything available at the grocery store will kill you” kind of people. Needless to say, figuring out what I can and can’t actually eat is slightly more than difficult.

I finally decided to focus on avoiding mainly molds and carbs, and avoiding diary as much as possible. I switched from Splenda to Stevia (GROSS!!!!!!!!!) and my husband bought me some lactose free low carb milk to put in my tea (not gross, just weird). I’ve been eating broiled chicken breasts and avocados, sauteed vegetables with lemon juice, and handfuls of walnuts as snacks. Oh, and I’m drinking ridiculous amounts of water. I’ve never peed so much in my life, and it’s perfectly clear, so at least I’m getting that right. While eating leftover chicken with bellpepper and onion makes for a weird breakfast, I do have to say I’m not hungry. Of course, this isn’t a weight loss diet, it’s a change of food choices, so there is no calorie counting or portion control. I can eat all the bell pepper I want. Yum!

I’m on my third day and I have definitely noticed that my latest case of thrush seems to be under control without the clotrimazole lozenges that make me gag. I also seem a lot less bloated, my head seems slightly less foggy, and I slept incredibly well last night. The first two days were pretty hellish with the sugar withdrawal, made worse by my pigging out on Mounds, Almond Joy, and Snickers the three days before I started this.

This weekend will be a major pain in that we’re getting away for a few days, planned before I started this thing. West Texas has few restaurants, and none of them are healthy. Fortunately, we’re staying in a whole-house airbnb so we’ll have a kitchen and fridge, which means I’ll be able to eat at the house at least. I’ll just have to keep Ron company while he eats whatever he wants. Did I mention he sucks?

We’ll see how it goes. I have seven and a half more weeks before I can start introducing things like carrots and apples back into my diet. Fingers crossed that it keeps the thrush away!

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