Here Comes Santa Claus

Ugh. I’m really starting to hate Christmas. The endless conservative bullshit about the non-existent “War on Christmas,” “Jesus Is The Reason For The Season,” “Keep CHRIST in Christmas,” and the fave of the past few years, “It’s Merry Christmas, NOT Happy Holidays.” It’s enough to make me want to stand in the center of the Santa Claus display at the mall and scream, “GET OVER YOURSELVES, PEOPLE!”

Christmas was the pagan holiday of Winter Solstice long before it was deemed Christ’s birthday by the Catholic church in an effort to get the wild naked people out of the woods and into the church. Christmas trees? Pagan. Candles? Pagan. Feasting? Oh! Pagan! Giving gifts as tribute? Wait, sorry, that one is Roman. Because guess what? CHRIST WAS JEWISH! If you really want to celebrate the holiday the way Christ would have, light a Menorah.

Sorry. Now that I’ve gotten my seasonal rant out of the way, on to other things.


This Friday night is Ron’s boss’s Christmas party. Well, she was actually only his boss for the short time that he was the acting director. Now she’s back to being his boss’s boss. Anyway, Ron has been living in mortal fear of my opening my mouth at any time during the party, unless it is to put food in it. I’ve been given a strict list of safe topics (blogging is not one of them, surprisingly enough…because someone might actually read it!); knitting, crochet, photography, and real estate. I may also mention that Aubrey is an aerial acrobat, and that Matt is a musician. I’m not allowed to discuss religion, politics, medical beliefs, or reproductive rights. Under no condition am I to attempt a conversation with a doctor’s wife. So why am I going, do you ask? Because I love a challenge. I will be doing my bestest to channel Maggie Smith for the evening. Oh, you took that as a compliment? I must have said it wrong.

I can’t believe Christmas is so close! Just two weeks left. This year, I did not even attempt to do cards. I shopped almost exclusively online. The mailman hates my guts, and the dogs are slavering to get at the UPS guy, who also probably hates me. Hey, at least all my stuff is light. The heaviest thing I ordered was a circuit board set for my niece.

This morning, Matt woke me up to come outside and show him which boxes are the Christmas stuff. I stumbled out to the shed in Saturday’s pajamas (I had a cold all weekend) and was awesomely surprised because he had not only already gotten out all the supplies, he had emptied the shed, organized it, and replaced everything. Yay! I can actually walk around out there without fear of tetanus. While I won’t be able to enjoy it until I get back from Connecticut, it will be waiting for me and all the projects I hope to do next year.

Since Matt was here and Aub was off for the morning, we got the living room cleaned up somewhat, moved the sitting chair into my bedroom, and rearranged a few things. There’s still more to do before we can put up the tree, but we should be able to do that by Saturday night. We all agreed that our only decorations this year would be the tree and ornaments. Since I’m leaving on the 28th, there won’t be much time for me to take things down and put them away, especially since I’ll be frantically packing my yarn and other stuff.

I’m hoping that the closer we get to the holiday, the less cynical I’ll feel. For the moment, I hate everything about the most wonderful time of the year. If I actually had to go out and shop, I would likely get physically removed from stores for being rude to other customers. It sucks being blue in a red state. It really, really does.



One thought on “Here Comes Santa Claus

  1. The professor couldn’t agree more. Cynical all the way it’s okay don’t you think?

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