A Perfect Day

Considering that I’ve had zero sleep (trying to reset my screwed up internal clock again), way too much caffeine, and not enough real food, I had a fantastic day.

In order to stay awake all day so that I can sleep tonight, I started my day out by slamming down two cups of Starbucks Christmas blend. Of course, my coffee is actually about a third Coffee Mate, but Starbucks is stronger than your average grocery store bean, so I figure it evens out. As soon as I finished my second cup, I jumped in the shower and did a second round of the sulfur cleanser, which apparently is the trick to getting rid of ALL the sulfur smell. Meanwhile, Will was blowing up my phone with, “Dammit, aren’t you on your way YET?” calls. He should know by now that I’m always at least a half an hour late.

After begging Ron to at least have breakfast with us (he refused on the grounds that Will’s and my conversations are boring and irrelevant to him, to which I have to agree), I gave up and jetted downtown to pick up Will. Neither of us had eaten yet, so we went to the famous taco place where I had the most incredibly awesome bean, cheese, and bacon tacos ever…and more coffee.

When we finished breakfast almost an hour later, thanks to a very busy kitchen that took forever to get out our order, I dragged Will to my favorite little slightly overpriced antique shop, where I fell madly in love with a vintage metal typing table that was a bit too precious at $40. Will found a HUGE 1962 stereo system that had the receiver in the center, a turntable on the right, and a reel to reel on the left, which he plans to put on his birthday list to his mom.

A few days ago, he was cut off by an 18 wheeler while riding his bike, and sprained his shoulder pretty severely. Between breakfast and shopping, his meds had worn off, so we headed towards home with a stop at the hardware store for more rollers. Once we got settled and Pinky was appeased with massive attention, we started in on the back wall, ceiling, and trim in the playhouse. We were singing along with Bob Dylan, Steve Miller Band, Cream, Lynard Skynard, and the Beatles while we painted, and marveled once again that we both know the lyrics to a ridiculous amount of music of all genres. Will is the only guy I know who likes the same music I do (although my friend from college, Sean, also shared my musical tastes), and while Aubrey knows quite a bit of oldies (OMG, I am seriously old!), she doesn’t know ALL of them. The only song that I hoped for but didn’t get to hear was “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.”

The weather was gorgeous, breezy and overcast, although a bit humid, making the paint slow to dry. In between coats, we read texts from Will’s latest insane “lay of the day” (this woman is a bunny boiler for sure) and threw the squishy for Pinky. She really just wanted to play keep-away, and Will obliged by chasing her around the yard. She was a happy puppy, and was running around with her tongue lolling out. Meanwhile, Amy sat on the basketball court, perfectly still, with her eyes closed, her head up to the sun, and a huge grin on her face. She loves sunshine and a cool breeze, and all the spring smells in the air.

Just as we were wrapping it up for the day, Ron got home and saw the project in progress. He had no idea that we’d been secretly working on the playhouse for three weekends, so it was a big surprise. It will probably be the world’s smallest, chic-est man-cave ever, but he agreed it will be a quiet place to study. He liked the color a million times better than the previous cascarone palette, so that was a huge win for me.

We three sat on the back porch and enjoyed the pre-rain air while we talked about the next few projects on the list. Will and I kept the conversation away from people we’ve known since grade school and toned down our normal vulgar senses of humor, and Ron actually laughed and chatted with us! Another win!

I will not explain exactly why we found this so hilarious, but you can use your imagination.

I will not explain exactly why we found this so hilarious, but you can use your imagination.

Finally, I took Will home (note to self: on days where there is a major event going on downtown, take Will home early) so he could get ready for his date with a different woman than the one that we’d made fun of all day. We were both grimy, sweaty, and covered in paint, but felt very successful.

My only wish is that I’d had some pear cider and a designated driver. Days like today call for frosty (gluten free) alcoholic beverages; few things beat sitting around and shooting the shit with a friend with a cold beer (or cider) in hand. But, with neither of those things handy, I settled for hanging out sans alcohol. It’s better for my weight loss, anyway.

I’m really glad that Will and Ron get along, although I wish Ron were better at making friends with people. It’s nice to have a friend who shares my love of home improvement, antiquing, and off-color humor. Everyone needs a friend who can laugh when you tell them to fuck off because they’re being an idiot. There just aren’t enough of them to go around.

Now the excitement of the day has worn off, although the excess adrenaline is still making me feel somewhat shaky. I look pretty awful, with entire sets of luggage under my eyes (not just bags), and my eyelids are doing their nightly bargaining ritual…”Please let us close just for a second. We won’t let you fall asleep, we promise. We just want to rest for a tiny little smidge, and then you can get up and brush the teeth.” Considering that my eyelids lie like dogs on rugs, it’s a good thing that it’s late enough now that I can take my sleep meds, brush my teeth, put on my face lotion, and crash big time.

I wish every day could be this carefree, pain free, fun, and productive. Since the goal of the day was to reset my body back to its regularly scheduled programming, I can honestly say, “Mission accomplished!”

Yeah, I agree it sucks to randomly lose an hour.

Yeah, I agree it sucks to randomly lose an hour.


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