It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn

It is a silent Sunday morning, when even the sun has sense enough to still be asleep. I’ve been awake since 4:30am; I laid in my bed and listened to music until I finally accepted that going back to sleep just wasn’t going to happen. I decided to lie on my sofa instead and read the new book that I picked up from the library yesterday, called Visiting Life by Bridget Kinsella.

I love when a book appears by surprise and becomes a found treasure. I was on the digital catalog and searching for Sophie Kinsella. I hadn’t read anything by her since Shopaholic And Sister, and I wanted to see if she had anything new. I love our library system’s digital catalog. Not only can I see every book in the system (as opposed to the olden days when one could only check out a book directly from the library where the book resided), I can place holds and request transfers. Books come from all over the city to my little neighborhood library, then wait patiently on the shelf for me to come by and check them out. Back to Kinsella…the other lovely thing about our catalog is that it performs a fuzzy search, meaning it also shows things that it thinks I might possibly have meant to type; there at the bottom of my search list was a summary of Bridget Kinsella’s non-fiction book about falling in love with a man in prison for life for murdering a drug dealing teenager. It sounded fascinating, and I was thrilled to find it an even more interesting read.

I checked it out yesterday as part of my errands that we call “The Festival of Returns.” I am a bulimic shopper; I binge buy and then have to take things back. A few items were from Christmas that didn’t fit Ron, but the rest were just random things. Although I was somewhat tired and more than a little sore, I was bound and determined to get them done yesterday, as it is one of the last few things between me and a clean living room.

When I woke up last Thursday morning, I felt energetic and nothing hurt too badly. I made a coffee cake, did a large load of dishes, had Aubrey help with getting all the Christmas stuff out to the shed, and even managed to get in a blog post (on one of my other blogs). I was on the go from early morning to early evening, and still felt pretty good, although by then I was tired. I had hoped that I might avoid the vicious payback that I knew was likely coming; unfortunately, I woke up Friday in excruciating pain and was so exhausted, I slept most of the day. Such are the perils of pushing it when one has fibromyalgia. However, Saturday was bearable, hence the second push.

Today I am paying for yesterday’s activities. I even missed my husband’s office holiday party (I was OBVIOUSLY devasted!), as I got home from the errands and collapsed on our bed. My husband was sweet enough to rub my entire back, neck, and shoulders with Pennsaid and I passed out. I woke up long enough to take my meds and go back to sleep…until 4:30 am, that is.

It’s freezing cold outside (45 degrees, but feels like 37 according to, so I decided to move from the living room to my office. Now I am curled up on my daybed wrapped in my denim quilt, with a roaring fire next to me, my excellent book, and a cup of hot cinnamon tea. I can hear the cat snoring in the living room and the whipping of the flames. I feel incredibly peaceful at this particular moment.

It’s important to find comfort in simple pleasures…tea, a fire, a quilt, a good book. Any one of the things alone is comforting, but to have them all together is decadent.

In a little while, my house will wake up and I will take a shower and get ready to have lunch with my mom, step-dad, and my son. In spite of every joint screaming in agony, I haven’t had lunch with my family in a while and I don’t want to miss out. Today is also the day that we are clearing out Aubrey’s shed so we can assess if there is any mouse damage to any of her boxes. Since getting her shed stacked neatly is pivotal to my office being cleared out in preparation for paint, shelf installation, and baseboard installation, I can’t put that off.

As I’m typing, the fire, tea, and quilt are warming me inside and out, and I can feel my eyes drooping…maybe I’ll get a few extra minutes of sleep after all.

“but I like to keep some things to myself…”


2 thoughts on “It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn

  1. pezstar says:

    Gotta love Florence + the Machine 🙂 This post created a peace within me…wishing for a roaring fire!

    • mzklever says:

      Oddly enough, I actually enjoy the Glee version better. It’s more soulful and less over-produced. My husband is always trying to convince me to tear out my fireplace. NEVER!

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