Every once in a while, something crazy happens that reaffirms my belief in humanity, or at the very least, reminds me of why I love my family. I recently learned that my son reads my blog…the only family member to do so. Considering that the majority of time, I write about my family, this is both a good and a bad thing. Since he’s 24, he can finally start to see things from my perspective. At the same time, my perspective isn’t always the most positive, or even the most realistic. It’s just mine.
When I wrote the post Another Year Over, I mentioned that he is always disappointed at Christmas, and is never happy with his presents, even when he gets the things he asks for. It seems like he always *really* wanted the *other* thing on his list, not the ones that he received.
In response to that tiny paragraph in that terribly long post, I received the following email; if it doesn’t make you cry just a little, then you’re a heartless bastard.
We may have not always agreed on what I have gotten for Christmas in the past. From the entire clothing themed Christmas when I was 4 to the forgotten Apollo 13 movie that I so badly wanted when I was 7. There
has always been something missing from my list that I desperately wanted and always been something under the tree that I couldn’t see my self using in a million years. As a kid there were times when I was a total brat, throwing fits, and crying because I didn’t get what I wanted. As a child I never stopped to think about how fortunate I was to receive a gift/gifts, let alone how lucky I was to have a warm home and an amazing loving family to spend the holidays with.Now that I am older and more mature, and have experienced the holidays away from my family, I have come to realize how spending time with my family really is the best gift. While the majority of the time is spent talking trash, shooting dirty looks, arguing back and forth, I couldn’t imagine not having the family that I have. Santa, I know how hard it is finding the perfect gifts for everyone, especially under the sufficating hands of a chronic illness, tight budget and of course the fact that you are aging (gracefully I might add). So I have figured out years ago that when it comes to me, it really is more about what I need and not necessarily what I want. Yes I wanted a new audio interface, mics, and other super expensive things and though I didn’t get them, I am truly happy for what I did get.Starting off with school, If I had been told that I wouldn’t be getting anything because that money had gone to school I wouldn’t think twice. I am so happy to be finally learning the things that I want to learn and to be getting closer to graduating. It is one thing that I will not take for granted. As for my new guitar it sounds amazing and I already feel like we have been together for years. My slippers,soap and other small gadgets were all cool and will come in handy at some point in my life even if it might not be now. I am not openly emotional, I don’t jump up and down when I am excited, or smile big or go crazy, but if I was I would have been all over the place this Christmas. I just wanted to tell you so you knew that you were doing a good job and didn’t think that I was disappointed, because I was far from it.
Till next year,
P.s I love you mom, you are always there for me when I need to talk, and always know what to say even if it isn’t what I want to hear. While living with dad was the kick in the butt I needed to grow up and become a man, you were the one who created and provided the mold for me to jump into. Christmas aside, that is the best gift a mother could give. Thank you for taking me to buy clothes as an early present and for the guitar and everything else. I know I probably don’t say thank you enough, or say it with conviction when I do, but I want you to know that I really do mean it. Ron too. I know he came into my life when I was older and not really looking for a father figure or a friend, but he did the best he could and dealt with all the bull shit I threw at you guys better than any other man I have met. He has taken care of me like I was his own, as well as done an amazing job taking care of you and Aubrey. Growing up and dealing with everything I have dealt with, I couldn’t have asked for a better step-dad. You two are the best!
Look around and you’ll find Santa Claus in the boundless world you’re dreaming of.
Even though you may not see him on his sleigh this Christmas Eve,
Yes, Virginia, there’s a Santa Claus. It’s true if you believe”