Two years and a bit ago, Isaac and I were emailing back and forth as I gave him secret advice on how to win Aubrey back. We’d been conversing for about two weeks at that point, and on paper, he was perfect for her, unlike the guy that she was dating at the time. Just before we planned her ambush at the ice cream parlor, I told him that no girl can resist the GRAND GESTURE. Of course, he had no idea what that was, much like most men.
Few things top the GRAND GESTURE when making a play for a girl’s heart. At the top of the list of gestures that girls dream about and swoon for would have to be Heath Ledger singing “You’re Just Too Good To Be True” on the bleachers in Ten Things I Hate About You, closely followed by John Cusack holding a giant boombox over his head as he stood beneath Ione Skye’s bedroom window, blasting “In Your Eyes.” Yes, be assured that GRAND GESTURES and public humiliation go hand in hand.
Yesterday, I watched Love, Actually twice; once by myself and again later with Aubrey. Now there is a film filled with GRAND GESTURES. Who could possibly not root for the little kid racing through the airport followed by the police, as he runs to tell the girl of his dreams that he loves her? Or Hugh Grant going door to door, searching for the girl that he let go? And of course, who couldn’t cry as Andrew Lincoln holds up poster board note cards to declare his love for the unattainable Keira Knightley?
It took Isaac a few days to consider whether or not Aubrey was worth humiliating himself in public, and then another couple of days to figure out what to do. Finally, he took her out on a “real” date, starting with presenting her with an alpaca teddy bear and a box of extremely expensive chocolates. They went to dinner and a movie, and then wandered around the shopping center, eventually ending up at the center across the street from where they started, and Isaac casually shepherded Aubrey down the walkway towards a very large fountain. There, he sang “Fly Me To The Moon” as he danced her around the fountain. As he got to the end of the song, he pulled her close and sang the last line, “in other words…I love you…”, thereby sealing Aubrey’s doom.
Sadly, no matter how grand the gesture, it doesn’t guarantee lasting love, as evidenced by Isaac and Aubrey breaking up six months later. Lasting love takes small gestures, every day. It’s the simple things like Ron bringing me a cup of coffee every Saturday morning, or doing the laundry, or making dinner. It’s being there, even when you wish you were somewhere else. It’s my making sure there is toilet paper next to the toilet, mouthing off sarcastic comments about his day to make him laugh, or paying the bills on time every month.
As Christmas looms just 12 days away, you may be considering a GRAND GESTURE…perhaps a public marriage proposal, or a flashy gift presentation. That’s sweet and wonderful, and she’ll more than likely love it. Just don’t forget the small stuff, the every day things, the things that you don’t WANT to do. That’s the way to ensure that she’ll stick around.
“Love is all around us…”